February 2, 2015

Today I cried. Not a lot. And not for a long time. But, boy, I did feel better when I was done.

You know, it’s okay to do that sometimes. Cry, I mean. Sometimes it just feels like a huge relief to cry and not over anything in particular. In fact, it feels better to cry over multiple reasons at once.

I don’t mean to say it feels good to cry in order to have a pity party about whatever may be happening at that particular time in my life.

No. It feels freeing to let those frustrations out of my body and into the universe. And I just so happen to release those frustrations in the form of tears.

Tears for the pain.

Tears for the stress.

Tears for the anguish.

Tears for the confusion.

Tears of negative thoughts just leaving the body.

As they flow from me, I think of them leaving my body. It’s all the pain, stress, anguish, confusion, and negative thoughts exiting my broken body leaving space for healing and rebuilding. Space for the positive thoughts and energy my body so desperately needs to replenish every so often.

What sparks these bouts of crying? Anything, really.

And it doesn’t really matter what starts the crying. What matters is that I let the negative energy flow out with the tears.

I felt better once the crying was over. Almost instantly. I’m not saying I wasn’t mad or hurt or upset or confused any more; however, I did feel okay to talk about what triggered it.

That’s the great thing about letting others in and letting them know about my pain. I can cry without questions or looks of confusion. I cry. I stop crying. I talk about it. Then I move on.

I learn from each bout of crying. I learned what triggered it and I’m self-aware as I handle it. I keep rational and don’t let it go too far to the point not being able to recover in a quick amount of time.

It’s night now. I’m warm in my bed. My husband and kids are tucked safely in their beds. All is right with the world – even though today I cried.

Disclaimer: Please understand that everyone is different in their journey with fibromyalgia and/or chronic illness. This is my journey, my stories, my vulnerability to share with you in order to help in some way. It is in no way to compare my journey with yours or to minimize your pains, feelings, or experiences. Please do not comment with any negativity.

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