June 15, 2016
The days are long and exhausting, and the nights are fast and restless. There seems to be so much to do, so many emotions to overcome, and so little time to do it.
After taking the kids to camp this morning, I fought back tears of frustration of our current struggles. I don’t know where it came from. I was okay driving them to camp, then out of nowhere, I became so overwhelmed that I became sad.
It’s a collection of stressor that has made me sad. My body pains, finances, son’s medical issues, just to name a few.
On top of all this, the fact that I may not be able to see my best friend in a few weeks is disappointing. I miss her and the way she makes me feel better without the need of me telling her I’m anything but happy. Overall, we laugh to our core which laughter is the best medicine, right? I need that medicine more than ever.
Then I think of our current situation. Am I where I need to be? Am I doing something that makes a difference? This is what I’ve been wondering the last few days.
This afternoon, I got an answer.
A reader told me that my blog, Being Fibro Mom, has made a difference to her and the way she feels when dealing with fibromyalgia. It felt amazing to hear that. Just when I doubted myself and my writing abilities, I have a stranger tell me that my words do matter, and in a big way.
The kind words moved me to tears bringing the crying count to a total of two for the day. At least the second time was out of happiness. Does that cancel out the first time? I don’t know.
I still have a heavy heart this evening. And my body is racked with pain, but my motivation to keep writing has been renewed. The power of the pen has had another victory and will continue to fight the good fight.
Disclaimer: Please understand that everyone is different in their journey with fibromyalgia and/or chronic illness. This is my journey, my stories, my vulnerability to share with you in order to help in some way. It is in no way to compare my journey with yours or to minimize your pains, feelings, or experiences. Please do not comment with any negativity.